Guys, imagine you’re in a restaurant and you catch the eye of the woman who you are completely sure is the love of your life – really, that “love at first sight” thing. You eventually overcome your shyness, walk over, introduce yourself, and finally sit at the same table. So far so good. Then you start talking, trying to strike up a conversation. Pretty soon you get the feeling things are really not going very well. She looks away, can’t maintain eye contact, fidgets and keeps looking at her watch. You get that sinking feeling. What happened? Everything seemed to be going so well, you thought you were doing everything right.
Well, you just discovered one of datings biggest killers. Mindless babble, mostly you talking about you.
According to recent surveys, over 90% of women are bored senseless with tedious small-talk – I can relate to that! It makes no difference if you have a fat wallet, a six pack and an Armani suit, if you have nothing to say at that first, most important, meeting, you have missed the opportunity. I’m walking as soon as I get the feeling you are more interested in the sound of your own voice than in who I am or what I like – I need attention, and if you show me enough, and I like it, I’ll show you attention and ask you questions.
How can I do that if you are talking non-stop?
Please, try and prevent this, consider subjects that are universally interesting. Travel – where have you been where would you like to go. Ask me where I have been and where I would like to go. Movies – do you go? What did you see last? What did you think of it? Ask me the same questions, or at least give me some space to tell you, Music is also a rewarding conversation topic, though I admit, I can chat about it for ages. Try to keep the conversation balanced around 60/40, giving her the most talking time. Ask questions, but don’t make it like the Spanish Inquisition. Above all, be natural; be you. If, after all your efforts, the spark dies and stays dead, and you just can’t get it back, then it’s probably best to accept that she isn’t “The One”.
If it does turn out this way, don’t let this minor rejection stop you trying again. Put it down to experience and move onwards and upwards!
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